MARY MAGDALENE: Reconnecting with God When You’re Suffering
Received by Mercedes Kirkel
Question: I have a tendency to suffer when I see suffering. I tend to feel that suffering in my own heart, and there is a lot of suffering on the planet right now. I would love to hear ways to work with that so that I can be of service and not add to the suffering.
Mary Magdalene: Yes. When you are affected by suffering, it is important to go to what is underneath the suffering. There is always something underneath, what I have called your inner divine qualities, that the suffering is arising out of, something that you have gotten disconnected from in some way, by what you have experienced. It may be most helpful if I show you with a direct example. If you could tell me some circumstance where this has happened for you, I would like to work with you around a particular example. Are you open to that?
Questioner: Yes.
Mary Magdalene: Can you describe a circumstance where you are aware of suffering and it causes suffering for you?
Questioner: The closest example would be my son, although I often experience this in terms of suffering on the planet, and the Middle East for example. But my heart just went right to my son.
When my husband and I separated he was eight years old. I left him and my husband. That has caused me a lot of suffering, probably guilt. I’ve also anticipated suffering in my son from that experience of my leaving him and the separation of our family through all those changes in our relationships. I see him not being able to form relationships on a deeper level, one after another after another. I fear that that’s partly my fault or that I contributed to that process for him.
Mary Magdalene: Thank you. This is a good example you have given. Part of what is going on in this example is that there is a mixture of judgment, as well as natural feeling going on. It sounds like you are judging yourself as having done something wrong in making the choice to separate from your son in this way. Is that accurate?
Questioner: Yes.
Mary Magdalene: This is where guilt comes from, because guilt always involves some level of judgment that you have done something wrong. So the first step is to clear out the judgment. You did this through awareness, through noticing what the judgments are.
Are there other judgments you are aware of, or is this pretty much the only one, that “I’ve done something wrong by separating”?
Questioner: Do you mean relative to that situation?
Mary Magdalene: Yes.
Questioner: That I was selfish.
Mary Magdalene: So these are both good examples of judgments. “I did the wrong thing” and “I was selfish; I hurt my son.” Does that sound accurate?
Questioner: Yes.
Mary Magdalene: What you want to do in this process is simply set those judgments aside for now, through your awareness, so that you can look at what’s underneath the judgment. Can you do that?
Questioner: Yes.
Mary Magdalene: Alright. Underneath the judgment will be feelings. Are you aware of feelings that arise when you do that?
Questioner: Yes.
Mary Magdalene: What are those feelings?
Questioner: Lots of love for my own process, but also for my son.
Mary Magdalene: I am wondering if there are also painful feelings?
Questioner: Yes, definitely.
Mary Magdalene: What are the painful feelings?
Questioner: Feeling that I harmed him, that I hurt him in a deep, deep way.
Mary Magdalene: So I would call those thoughts, actually judgmental thoughts. The feeling would be an emotion that would go with that—how you would feel having that thought. Do you feel pain? Do you feel sadness?
Questioner: I feel pain and sadness.
Mary Magdalene: Yes, that would seem natural. So those are the feelings that are separate from your thoughts. It is the feelings that will guide you to this deeper part of yourself. The feelings are emanating out of something within yourself, part of your beautiful God nature that you’ve gotten disconnected from in this particular circumstance.
I am going to make a guess of what that deeper part might be and you can tell me if this is right or wrong. You don’t need to explain if it’s wrong. Just say, “No, I don’t think that’s it.”
Are you feeling pain and sorrow because you want to contribute to your son’s well being?
Questioner: Yes.
Mary Magdalene: And you care about his wellbeing.
Questioner: Yes.
Mary Magdalene: What I invite you to do is to go to the place in yourself where you know what it is to care for another’s well being and contribute to it. Connect with that part of yourself. When you feel it and experience it, let me know.
Questioner: Yes.
Mary Magdalene: What does that part of yourself feel like? What do you feel when you connect to it?
Questioner: I feel my heart. I feel how easy it is to love when I’m connected to my heart.
Mary Magdalene: Yes. This is a part of you. It’s a part of your inner divinity—the part of you that knows the fullness of contributing to another and caring for their wellbeing. Yes?
Questioner: Yes.
Mary Magdalene: When you reconnect to it, you reconnect to God as a part of yourself. Can you feel that?
Questioner: Yes.
Mary Magdalene: So now you can bring this to this circumstance, in the present time. You can come to this circumstance from this part of yourself that knows what it is to contribute and care for another. And that can inform you how to act, what you want to do. Can you feel that?
Questioner: Yes.
Mary Magdalene: This is how suffering can guide you to reconnecting with some part of your God nature that you’ve gotten disconnected from though some painful circumstance. That is what you’re really suffering, your own inner disconnection. The true suffering is being disconnected from God. Whenever you’re suffering you can do this process. Doing this work will guide you back into full reconnection with God, through yourself. Then you can bring that to that circumstance and act from that place of God-wholeness. Is that clear?
Questioner: Yes, thank you so much.
Mary Magdalene: You are very welcome.
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Thank you for this beautiful message and work both. It’s helpful to connect to that way of being honest and finding truth. As I perceive it, the imprint of enduring suffering as if it’s meant to be endured, almost as a punishment, or fate, has been a deep one in me. During my days now, I often stop during the day and return to realizing that I’m being the best version of myself that I know how to be. I love that advise, found it somewhere online.