MARY MAGDALENE: Healing From Abuse

Image courtesy of Erin Silversmith

Image courtesy of Erin Silversmith

Received by Mercedes Kirkel
On May 14, 2014

Hello dear ones. I come again to speak to you further about the process of creating your reality. I have given a number of communications about this recently, and I have been pleased with the responses many of you have made, demonstrating a depth of understanding of this topic—which is not an easy one to comprehend and accept in the third dimension. Yet I’m also aware that some of you still have confusion about this area. So I will once more try to clarify this topic.


I have said this before, but I feel it’s important to restate this: The idea that you create your reality is not intended as a form of blame. It is not a way of judging you, negatively or positively, for having painful or pleasurable experiences. It is not a subtle form of saying “It’s your fault that you’re experiencing this” or “If you don’t like this, stop complaining and create something different.” All of these positions are very limited ways of approaching this concept, which are not based in true understanding and are definitely not based in love and compassion. These types of responses, to others or toward yourself, are evidence of pain within the one making the response. The person who is reacting in this way is using the idea that everyone creates their reality as a way of avoiding the pain they’re experiencing in response to a particular circumstance. Perhaps they don’t know how to deal with the pain that circumstance evokes for them, so they are using this concept as a way of releasing the pressure of their pain. It is a form of anger, which is often used for pressure release. And like anger, it generally causes more pain for the person receiving the anger, as well as the person expressing the anger.


I have gone to great lengths to explain a different way to respond to pain. This is especially recorded in my messages in the book Mary Magdalene Beckons. I will once again explain a different way to respond to pain. You must first understand that when you blame, or judge, or accuse another of doing something wrong, you are taking your pain and projecting it outward, in an attempt to rid yourself of your own painful feelings. Even when you blame yourself you are doing this. You have simply made yourself into an outward “other.” I do not recommend doing this, both because it creates more pain for everyone involved and because it doesn’t make use of the pain in the way that is productive and actually essential. Pain always has a gift for you. If you direct your pain outward, you miss the opportunity to receive the gift.


Instead of projecting your pain outward to others, I recommend taking it inward to yourself. In this circumstance let’s use the example of an adult who was abused as a child. Blaming those who performed the abuse would be directing your pain outward. I suggest that this is a kind of self-poisoning, as well as a poisoning of others. I don’t recommend this, but instead recommend another path. This is not to say that you are approving of the actions of those who engaged in the abuse, or even accepting those actions. You are not doing anything in relation to the actions of others—neither condemning, approving, or even accepting. You are not focusing on them at all.


Similarly, you are not condemning yourself. You are not using the idea that you created your reality to blame yourself for what occurred. This, too, is a kind of self-poisoning that will hurt you and keep you stuck, while depriving you of access to your actual help. Even though it may be true that you created this experience at some level, often in choices that were made in your pre-birth state of selecting your life circumstances, using this concept to condemn yourself is not beneficial. It is a way of staying in your mind, which is a form of self-protection—one which ultimately harms rather than protects. So I do not recommend punishing yourself with this concept. It will not help you.


Instead, I recommend going into your heart and doing the healing work you require there. In truth, this is the real circumstance that you have created. You have given yourself this opportunity for healing so that you can grow, not only in terms of the particular circumstance you are healing but ultimately in terms of deeper and greater parts of yourself that you most often are not even consciously aware of. The outer circumstance was simply the means to guide you to this healing, to open you to it, to make it real for you.


This of course is not easy work. It is profound work, often requiring great dedication, effort, courage, and time. And this is what you came into this life to do. You did not come here to simply have a good time and coast along at the superficial levels of experience. There is nothing wrong with having a good time and it certainly has its place in the bigger picture of all your experience. It feeds you and motivates you, and is part of what guides you to continue on your soul path. But it is not the whole picture, nor is it the purpose of your life. Your life is a vehicle for your soul’s growth, which you chose to further you in your progression toward reunion with God. The things that tend to grow you the most in the third dimension are your challenges and your painful experiences. So it is important and valuable to know how to respond to pain in ways that are most supportive of that soul growth. These ways also allow the most easeful transition through and beyond the pain. That, too, is a sign you can use to know that you are on the right path. When you are following your heart’s course, your pain will diminish and eventually resolve into peace, wisdom, and greater heart-openness. All of this can be understood as signs validating that you are on the correct path.


To return to the example I was using earlier of an adult who was abused as a child, I will now suggest what the steps might look like of going into your heart, as opposed to staying in your head and judging or blaming others or yourself. The first step of going into your heart is to acknowledge that you’re in pain. This is done through allowing yourself to truly feel the pain. Many people are afraid to do this because they fear that this will intensify their suffering and perhaps open them to the possibility of getting stuck forever in their pain. In fact, the reverse is true. If you stay in your head, judging and blaming others, you are prolonging and fixing the pain. Feeling the pain is the beginning of the process that allows the pain to complete and resolve. And it does not intensify the pain.


When you are in your head, you are already experiencing the pain. You simply are trying to cover it over and suppress it. But it does not go away when you do this. It simply submerges and continues to affect you at the subconscious level. It will affect you emotionally and physically. You will become hard, or cynical, or closed off. And you will likely become sick. So it is still operating at full intensity, only in other arenas that are more hidden from your conscious mind. You may think that you have gained some power and control through going to your mind and judging, but that is an illusion. You are simply hurting yourself and others.


Your real power is in your heart. And it begins with opening to your pain through feeling. This takes spiritual strength to do. Open yourself in your feeling to experience the pain. This may bring up intense feelings of hurt and sorrow. There may be great grief that you need to release. This is a natural process and is important, just the way that a child cries when he or she is hurt. You may not have allowed yourself to grieve at the time of the abuse, often because you were too shocked or in fear. Many people leave their bodies at the time of abuse in order to survive it. So this is a kind of returning fully to your body, especially your emotional and physical self. And it will likely produce deep mourning.


It may take time to fully experience this grieving, especially if the abuse happened over time. You have innate wisdom within yourself as to how much you can experience at any given time without overwhelming you. You may experience a portion of your grief and then have a period of time of integrating that before you’re ready to experience more. Thus, this process will take however much time it requires to complete itself. It can be helpful and supportive to have a loving, wise guide to help you though this grieving process. That may be a counselor, coach, spiritual leader or guide, friend, or whoever you trust to help you with this. Do not let them take you back into your mind by focusing on the other(s) or analyzing what occurred, and resist your own tendencies to do so. Instead stay in the pure feeling of experiencing your pain, just as a child does who is crying after experiencing a hurt.


Eventually, your pain will reside to the point that you can bring in your mind for a different function. You will use your mind to take you deeper within yourself to the source of your pain. This is the great difference in this process. It is based in the understanding that the source of your pain is not in your outer circumstances of whatever occurred. The deep source of your pain is within yourself.


Within everyone are pure divine qualities, which I have called your inner divine qualities. These are beautiful aspects of your inner divinity, which are part of every human—something like your spiritual DNA. Whenever you are in pain, it is a signal that one or more of your inner divine qualities are needing help. Pain tells you that you are not presently experiencing one or more of your inner divine qualites as fulfilled. They need your attention to return them to their fulfilled state. In their fulfilled state, you are connected to God in that aspect. So another way of saying this is that you have become disconnected from God in this particular aspect.


You can use your mind to find the quality or qualities that are at the source of your pain. In the case of abuse, the qualities are often some combination of physical and emotional safety, respect for the sanctity of your body, dignity, and trust of others. In the circumstance of abuse, these inner divine qualities (or other related ones) were not fulfilled. Your deep healing involves these particular qualities within yourself.


Thus, the first step is to identify the inner divine qualities that were not fulfilled for you in the incidents of abuse. Only you will know which qualities are the ones that were involved for you. Others may guess, but they won’t know for sure. Only you will know for sure which ones were affected. Others may have been in similar circumstances, yet the inner divine qualities for them that were affected might be different. Even you may have been in similar circumstances at other times in your life, and those times may have involved different inner divine qualities than the present circumstance. You do not need to compare yourself to others or to your own experiences at at other times. Let yourself be present now, for what is true for you at this time.


You will know when you identify the real inner divine qualities that are involved because you will feel a clear energetic connection to those qualities. They will feel alive and you will feel a sense of aliveness in connecting with them. They have energy for you, like a live wire that is waiting to be reconnected to its intended circuit.


Once you have identified the inner divine qualities that are alive for you in this circumstance, then you are ready to do the next step. This involves a shift within your awareness. You are going to shift from the feeling of deficit in these qualities, which was caused by the external event, into remembering and connecting with your inner experience of these qualities in their wholeness. Begin with the one or two qualities that seem most important in this situation, the ones that have the most energy for you. Then go inside and give yourself the experience of what it’s like for you when these qualities are fulfilled. You might experience this viscerally, visually, auditorially, through memories arising, or emotionally. Let yourself rest in the experience until it is full and strong for you, such that you have shifted into a sense of being in the fulfilled state.


This is something like repairing a circuit breaker within yourself. You are flipping the switch back to the “on” position of this circuit being fully reconnected. You are truly reconnecting with God, because you got disconnected through the trauma. You will recognize this reconnection because you will experience peace and a sense of openness.


At this point, in the case of abuse, you will likely need a period of reintegration of this fulfilled state within yourself. Again, this may require time to become stable. This is the real healing work. Give yourself as much time as you need, which might be days or months. You will know when this stage is complete because your energy for action will return. It is like an animal coming out of hibernation or a butterfly emerging from the cocoon.


When your healing is complete at the inner level, you are now ready to make any changes you choose at the outer level. Perhaps you will want to take certain steps towards others involved in the abuse. This is where outer healing can occur. Perhaps there are steps of forgiveness you wish to engage, either directly with those involved or energetically without direct contact. Perhaps there are steps you wish to take of creating boundaries that support you. Perhaps there are new directions you wish to take in your life or things you no longer want to continue doing. Often there are new insights and understandings that have emerged, which you are now ready to integrate into yourself and your future choices. All of this will be done from the energy of wholeness and self-love you have come to from your inner healing, which allows you to move into greater love for others, without compromising yourself. This is the full completion and growth into your next stage stage of greater love and consciousness. This is the completion of the soul work you have come to do and for which you created this circumstance.


I hope this has been helpful as a further clarification of the process, so you can better understand how you can respond and make use of the concept that individuals create their reality. The most important thing that will help you is to resist the tendency to use this concept to separate from others (or yourself) through judgment and blame. Whenever that is arising, use it an indicator that you are in pain and do your work to receive the gift and growth of your own pain.


I love you most dearly and am honored to help to the best of my ability.


With fullest blessings,

I AM Mary Magdalene


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©2014 Mercedes Kirkel,, All Rights Reserved. Permission is given to share this message as long as the message is posted in its entirety, nothing has been changed or altered in any way, and Mercedes Kirkel’s credit, copyright, and websites are included: and


Mercedes Kirkel is a multi-award-winning author and spiritual channel, bringing forth messages and instruction from Mary Magdalene and other Beings of Light. Her book, Mary Magdalene Beckons: Join the River of Love is available at Mercedes’s forthcoming book, Sublime Union: A Woman’s Sexual Odyssey Guided by Mary Magdalene, will be available in July, 2014. You can learn about Sublime Union at www.sublime-union.comAll messages and practices are universal and are not affiliated with any religion.


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Mercedes offers workshops and private sessions in Santa Fe, New Mexico, including Heart Source Communication and Relationships Coaching, Guidance from Beings of Light, Akashic Healing and Soul Path Guidance, and Light-Filled Intimacy™ Instruction. She is available in-person or long distance (by phone and Skype), or to travel to your location. For more information, go to


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