Solstice Gift

By Mercedes Kirkel

I think all the events in our life are for our spiritual growth—especially when there’s a pattern or a certain dynamic that happens repeatedly. I believe those things are Spirit trying to get us to see something about ourselves, something we’re not conscious of, so we can change and grow. Deep soul lessons and opportunities.


Recently I was meeting with my cancer support group and we were sharing about the challenges and the gifts of our cancer journey. We were all able to connect with the challenges, but no one shared about the gifts. I thought that was really significant (since I believe that all our experiences are gifts, even the painful ones). So I kept thinking about it afterward, asking, What is the gift of cancer for me?


I knew the platitudes, like “This has helped me to value every moment of life” or “This has helped me to be more compassionate.” But those were just ideas I’d heard, not really what I felt or what seemed true for me. So I kept meditating on it.


I also was meditating on something else from the group. I noticed (not for the first time) a pattern I have in this group of speaking strongly, in a way that I think feels overpowering to others. I bring a certain force that I don’t enjoy, but that comes out anyway. I was thinking I must have been triggered to speak so forcefully and was considering what the trigger was.


In the midst of that I got a message. The message said, “You need kindness.”


At first I thought the message was about why I was reacting in the group, because I was needing others to be kind. (I was primarily reacting to one participant who had a lot of anger and blame relative to their cancer.)


But then I realized the message was about me, that I needed to be kind to myself. The angry individual was reflecting my own lack of kindness—toward myself as well as others. I immediately knew that if I was kind to myself, that kindness would overflow to others and they wouldn’t trigger me.


I could instantly feel how different it would be to live from a place of kindness toward myself. Wow!!!!


I’ve always been a driven kind of person, expecting perfection of myself. Part of being perfect was “demanding” kindness of myself. (Even as I write this, I see the irony in what I was doing—“demanding” kindness!) Did I need cancer to start to be kind to myself? Maybe so.


This new orientation feels very different. It’s actually being kind and letting my inner taskmaster go.


I’m very excited about this deepening in my spirituality, in a way I wasn’t expecting. I’m reminded of the Dalai Lama saying, “My religion is kindness.” And of the proverb: “Charity begins at home.”


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Mercedes Kirkel is a multi-award-winning author and channel for Mary Magdalene and Yeshua, and other Beings of Light. Her books are available at

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