My Halloween Gift

By Mercedes Kirkel


I always love Halloween — maybe because it’s a week after my birthday. But I think it’s more than just that. I love the magic of the colors, the smells, the changing weather. And I truly believe the veil between the worlds is especially thin at this time of year. As the pagans sagely say: “Magic is afoot!”


This Halloween appears to be particularly notable. It falls on a blue moon/full moon, which in itself is fairly unique. Add to that a worldwide pandemic in full tilt and a highly contentious U.S. election, and the result for many is a sense of potential doom, with all the attendant feelings that tends to bring.


For me personally, this is also a significant moment. Since getting diagnosed with cancer six months ago and then going through chemotherapy, I feel like I’ve traversed my own dark night of the soul. I’m grateful to report I’m coming out the other side and feel newly emerged, even reborn. Hallelujah!


My dark night had everything to do with facing death. My death. Much sooner than I ever expected. Cancer seems to do that and I was no exception. For all my spiritual work and all the ways I thought I was fully integrated with death as part of life, I found my very human self was still in fear. It took me a long time to realize it.


At first I was in shock — the classic first stage of grief that Elizabeth Kubler Ross and others describe. And that lasted for months.


Then there was bargaining. In my case that took the form of researching everything I could get my hands on about possible cures and therapies. Not that I’m opposed to therapies or research. I just see now that there was an emotional component to what I was doing that was the classic second stage of the grief process, even though I didn’t recognize it at the time.


Thankfully I was spared the next stage of the cycle of grief: anger. I do think this is because of the spiritual work I’ve done. Instead I went to what was below any possible anger, which was sorrow and fear. Sorrow about potential loss of the joys of this realm. Sorrow about joys not yet realized.


Fear was the most difficult to face. Even to acknowledge. But eventually it was inevitable. And it happened in a most unexpected way. I gradually became aware that death had taken on a living presence in my life. It wasn’t just a concept anymore. It had become a viable presence — a subtle entity that seemed to sit next to me on my left side. And it was dark. Not malevolent. Quite neutral actually. But dark nonetheless.


This in itself was a surprise. I’ve always associated death with going into the light: seeing the light, the light at the end of the tunnel, being guided by angels of light. And I strongly believe that we go to a place of greater light after our death-transition. So the darkness of this entity was a revelation.


And that brings me to Halloween. I’d always thought of ghouls, ghosts, and the grim reaper as images from the collective unconscious, representations of fear finding a culturally acceptable avenue of expression. But now it occurred to me that there was more to it. I’m well aware that most “folk legends” have some origin in fact. And I started to “grok” that many of the dark Halloween archetypes were no different. I was experiencing their reality.


Did this take me into a hell realm, a place of unmitigated blackness and terror? Quite the opposite. It allowed me to open to the presence I was experiencing, to face it and begin to talk about it with others. And that led to one of the most ecstatic, vivid, and life-changing dreams I’ve ever experienced.


Because hearing others’ dreams can be quite tedious, I’ll spare you the details and go straight to the golden nuggets I received from this amazing experience: 1) I’m even more in-my-power now than ever, 2) I’m still attractive and sexy, 3) there’s a great party I’m invited to on the other side, and 4) life is really a hilarious joke.


And what about the specter of death I’d been living with? After the dream, it seemed to become integrated with me as a natural part of the total fabric of this world. I still can sense it, but just barely. And my fear is gone, replaced with great peace.


About a week later, I received a message from Death, in a channeling that happened quite spontaneously. It was the first channeling I’ve done since my cancer diagnosis, and I received it as a wonderful and uplifting gift. I’m delighted to share it with you now.


A Message From Death

2020 is a huge time of integrating death for your culture, especially in the US., but in western culture altogether. Because your culture is so rejecting of death. Your culture is so much about acquisition, grasping and holding on. Not about release and letting go. And most people don’t understand about rebirth, that it’s a cycle of  birth-life-death-rebirth, on and on. In your world there’s huge fear of death and out of that avoidance of death. People are terrified of me.


This year people are having to get in touch with death. Not just physical mortality. Death of their old life, their old meaning, their expectations of what life should be, what they’re entitled to. This has a lot to do with entitlement. Entitlement is a very limiting belief. Your society feels entitled to the “good life.” And you’re confronting that now in all the restrictions being asked and recommended because of Covid. It’s challenging people’s entitlement.


This is a great spiritual opportunity, as most challenge is. Whatever you’re struggling with in the midst of the restriction and loss you’re experiencing, that’s where you believe you’re entitled, what you’re attached to. And that attachment is binding and limiting you. It’s keeping you from your freedom.


I’m here to support you in letting go. Of course you have a choice. You can do it now or you can do it later. And of course you’ll all be required to let go at some point.


So why do it now? Why not just wait until you have to? Because doing it now will bring you freedom. And that freedom will bring you ecstasy. Just as you, Mercedes, experienced in facing the part of you that’s afraid of dying. When you faced it and embraced it, when you asked it to guide you to its source, then you were gifted with ecstasy. So it will be for all.


I send you my blessings and love, even though it’s not in the form that most people are attached to. Love is always from the wholeness, the All, which includes darkness and light. At least in this realm.


Blessings and thank you for being one of the strong and brave, who open to the darkness. Thank you for helping others in this way.

©2020 Mercedes Kirkel,, All Rights Reserved. Permission is given to share this message as long as the message is posted in its entirety, nothing has been changed or altered in any way, and the post includes 1) the title, 2) “Received by Mercedes Kirkel” beneath the title and above the body of the post, 3) this copyright notice (full paragraph), and 4) Mercedes Kirkel’s website (

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Mercedes Kirkel is a multi-award-winning author and channel for Mary Magdalene and Yeshua, and other Beings of Light. Her first book, Mary Magdalene Beckons: Join the River of Love is available at Mercedes’s second book, Sublime Union: A Woman’s Sexual Odyssey Guided by Mary Magdalene, is available at

To receive ongoing messages from Mary Magdalene and Yeshua, and other Beings of Light through Mercedes, go to and request to be added to the mailing list. Mercedes offers workshops and private sessions in the U.S. and internationally, including:

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