MARY MAGDALENE: Overcoming Sexual Challenges

Received by Mercedes Kirkel

Question: I’d like help with sexuality and the hurt that has arisen between my partner and me in that area. I would love to bypass the traditional orgasm and to come to a different place. There is a deep knowing in me where I know this can be different. But I feel very stuck. I’d like insight, clarity, and help.


Mary Magdalene: I thank you for your question. It sounds to me that there are a number of different things going on. One is that you have a kind of a conflict within yourself between your drive or attraction toward more conventional sexual engagement and your desire and understanding of a different way—perhaps you might look at it as a higher or more sacred way—to engage sexually. Is that one aspect?


Questioner: That’s one aspect, yes.


Mary Magdalene: Another aspect involves a kind of a conflict between you and your partner around engaging this?


Questioner: Yes.


Mary Magdalene: I wish I had an easier solution for you. My truth is that you must each, as individuals, be guided to what is true for you. There is a way of doing this through open-heartedness and staying in love with each other. It does not necessarily mean that you will have the outcome you are hoping for or the outcome you are dreading, either one. There are actually many, many ways it could play out. But you won’t know that until you give yourself to God.


You see, this hasn’t come up randomly in your life or in your relationship. This is likely a very central part of your soul path that you have both chosen in this lifetime for your growth. Humans suffer the most when they are avoiding their soul path.


There are different ways to explore sacred sexuality with a partner. One of the challenges that partners can get into with sacred sexuality is thinking that it’s black or white: “We have to do it all one way or all another way.” This black or white kind of thinking is one of the traps of the third dimension. And it’s almost never the case.


In fact, as you grow and develop, sexuality is something that you are going to more and more be the creator of. You are going to be creating what your form of sexuality will be like. You will do this with yourself, first and foremost, and then with whatever partners you choose. And it doesn’t have to look like anyone else’s sexuality, whatever they call it—sacred, profane, who knows? You are the creator of what is possible and most suitable for you. And then, with a partner it becomes a joint creative venture.


Within that context you may choose to explore certain things. One option is to read books about sacred sexuality. But that is not your only avenue. There are people who can teach and coach you. There are courses and workshops. This does not mean, again, that you should be doing what’s being presented or that this is what you’re signing up to do. It can be an open-ended exploration and from there you become the creators of your life.


Very likely there are emotional blocks underlying this issue that may not be obvious or clear. If you were to get to the root of the emotional blocks and see what they were trying to draw you to, there very likely could be worlds of possibility that would open up to you, which you are not in touch with at this point.


I would urge you to look at this as not just a struggle in the sexual or relational arena, but as something very central to your spiritual path in this lifetime. If the word “spiritual” doesn’t resonate, you could just say “human” path or your “growth” path. It’s something that you’re both wanting to deal with in some way and I would definitely say both. It may be different for each of you, but somehow each of your parts fits with the other person’s particular exploration.


That may help you to loosen some of the stuckness, which includes thinking there are only three solutions: One is to go back to the way you were, one is to change to the new form of sacred sexuality (whatever you’re thinking that is), and the third is to separate.


From my point of view there are many more possible solutions. I don’t know what the solutions are in your particular case but I know the mechanics of these processes. The way that you are describing it now is what it looks like when you’re not dealing with the deeper issues. Your emotions will lead you to the deeper issues, if you allow them. And that is what I recommend.


I believe there is a different avenue than the one that seems to be at play, or the one that seems to be the context in which you’re holding this. Those different avenues are what the emotions will guide you to. And it might be quite surprising where that leads you.


I very much trust that your emotions will guide you to your guidance, each of you. Ultimately, they will guide you together to find your way through this, if you allow yourself to receive their guidance. And you will also receive the gifts of this circumstance, which I have no doubt are there.


This is all I feel called to say at this point


Questioner’s Partner: This was helpful but a question keeps popping up. Is this relationship beneficial to our greatest good—towards each other, and ourselves, and the people around us? Or are we in a kind of jail of fear?


Mary Magdalene: I would guess that you have hit a wall of fear around this issue. It is your choice if you want to make use of that fear or avoid it. From my perspective, if you avoid it, it is not beneficial to you, or each other, or other people that you are affecting. If you choose to let in the help that’s being offered in the form of this fear, I have no doubt that it will be helpful to you, each other, and others affected by you. But you may need help in doing that. It may not be clear how to do that.


This is so often the case in the third-dimension. We use the example of Mercedes, who is very highly trained in this process and very skilled at helping others with this. And yet [Mary laughs] when Mercedes hits her challenges and places of fear, it is very difficult for her, also.


This is part of the great human quality, that you really require each other in a very fundamental way. You could get through this entirely on your own. But it’s likely that you will go through it much more quickly and easily with the help of others. And it is challenging to do on your own.


It is like the story or joke that some of you may know about the difference between heaven and hell, where in hell the beings are starving because they can only eat with implements that are longer than their arms. In heaven, they have the same implements but they have figured out that they need to feed each other. [Mary laughs.]


I see this as a joke. I don’t have this as a belief about heaven and hell, or even beliefs about heaven and hell altogether. But it is a very good analogy for one of the differences between the third and the fourth dimension. Help from others is at times exceedingly valuable. This may be one of those times, especially when you’re dealing with core issues, which I would call your soul issues. These are the issues that you especially came to work on in this lifetime.


In the third dimension, when you come up against those issues (which you might call being triggered or having a button pushed), suddenly there’s this fog and you can’t see things. You seem to lose the competence and clarity you may have at other times. This is when it can be extremely helpful to have the support of others.


Part of the transition into higher dimensions is that eventually you will move into less identification with being a separate individual. You will more and more have a sense of being a part of something greater, including a connection with other beings that becomes your identity. Over time it will become natural to relate to life in a more group-like way, as opposed to a very individual, separated way.


But at the third dimension you’re at the beginning of this transition. You’re still dealing with other aspects of the third-dimension—power dynamics, the beliefs that there is not enough, that you have to fight to survive, and that if you don’t have power you may not survive. To ask for help at the vulnerable places of connection to your soul path can feel like you’re giving away all your power. It can feel quite scary at the third dimension. You may think that asking for help is stupid or the exact wrong thing to do.


This is part of what makes the third dimension a challenging place. Much of what you have learned and much of what you believe does not really support your highest good. You are in the process of finding your way with all this.


The heart is one of your greatest benefits and guides. The more you develop your skill and tools to connect with your heart, to follow your heart, and even to recognize what your heart guidance is, the more you will find your way, and the less you will be influenced by the insidiousness of the beliefs of separation, of not having enough, of the necessity of power, struggle, and survival. You will not become immune, you will become wonderfully strong, for yourself and for others.


This I invoke and wish to support as much as I can.


©2017 Mercedes Kirkel,, All Rights Reserved. Permission is given to share this message as long as the message is posted in its entirety, nothing has been changed or altered in any way, and the post includes 1) the title, 2) “Received by Mercedes Kirkel” beneath the title and above the body of the post, 3) this copyright notice (full paragraph), and 4) Mercedes Kirkel’s website (


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Mercedes Kirkel is a multi-award-winning author and channel for Mary Magdalene and other Beings of Light. Her first book, Mary Magdalene Beckons: Join the River of Love is available at Mercedes’s latest book, Sublime Union: A Woman’s Sexual Odyssey Guided by Mary Magdalene, is available at

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